hello everyone! I want to share a few testimonies from the Race and this is the first one! I hope you love it and that the Lord uses it to speak to you and encourage you!
If you have been around me much, you know that I love flowers. I have always been the person to buy flowers for every birthday/holiday/reason I can come up with. They are the first thing I notice when I’m in a new place, and when I pass them anywhere I can’t help but stop and stare for a moment.
When I was in Guatemala the Lord was bringing up a lot of things and memories from my life and it was a lot to handle at moments. One day I was sitting at ministry with my team leader, Morgan, and talking. We started talking about my life at home before the Race and I was telling her how I had started to realize how much I struggled with fear of man and a constant need for approval. She asked me to think back to memories I had where I felt disappointed or unloved or unseen, and to ask the Lord where He was in those moments.
I started to walk around the garden that were sitting in and suddenly I saw my life replaying in my head. Memories of achievements, awards, preforming, mission trips, worship leading, moving schools, moments with friends, graduation, going on the Race—everything. In some of the memories I could see people I know handing me bouquets of flowers and congratulating me—however, every time I took the flowers from them, they died instantly in my hands. In some of the memories, I was looking around and waiting for a bouquet from anyone, and there was nothing.
Then I noticed something else—in every single memory, the Lord was standing directly to my right, holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me, different and unique every single time. Each time he was saying “Bree. Look at me. I’m here. Take my flowers. I love you. I’m proud of you.” In some moments I would notice and take the flowers from Him, and in others I wouldn’t—but every time I took the flowers from my Father, they remained beautiful and full in my hands.
I saw myself trying to cling to the dead flowers that people had given me, or mix them into the bouquets from the Lord. Once I finally began to surrender the flowers from other people to the Lord’s hands, they stayed alive and beautiful.
Through all of this I learned that I had spent most of my life looking for approval from other people instead of from the Lord, or for a combination of both. I realized that no matter what happens, the Lord will love me and be proud of me. I thought about a parent bring flowers to their child’s performance/recital. The cool thing is that they buy the bouquet before they go to the show and see the performance. The gift of the flowers and their approval isn’t dependent on how the show goes, they are simply praising their child’s effort and obedience.
The Lord isn’t sitting around waiting for me to succeed in order to love me—He loves me just because He does. He is proud of me always, even in failure. When I fail, He is there with a bouquet of flowers. When I win and succeed, He is there with a bouquet of flowers. When I take the smallest step of obedience, He is there with a bouquet of flowers. When I get out of bed in the morning and commit another day to loving and serving Him, He is there with a bouquet of flowers. His love never runs out, it never dries out, it never ends. It is constant and new and fresh every single morning.
“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” 1 John 3:1
Since that day in Guatemala, the Lord has used flowers to teach me so much about His love and my identity as His beloved. I buy flowers everywhere we go, I have a flower bouquet tattoo, and I draw them everywhere constantly. Every time I see a flower, I am reminded that my Father in heaven loves me and is infinitely proud of me and all that I am. This is such a sweet life being loved my the only one who can truly satisfy me!
His love + mine,
bree
